Thursday, January 17, 2013

How to Communicate Better | InspireHappy

Poor communication is a common obstacle when it comes to relationships.? When two people come together, they each bring their own fears, insecurities, and a variety of other emotions and experiences into their relationship.? Because no two people are alike, it?s impossible for a couple to really know and understand one another without effective communication.? People also have different skill levels when it comes to communicating with one another; some people operate under the misconception that simple talking is the same as communicating, which is not the case.? It?s much more than that, and involves not just talking, but talking about important topics, and the things that really matter in our lives.? Fortunately, communication is a skill which can be improved, and with improved communication comes a healthier, happier relationship.

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The first and most important step to healthier communication is to stop and listen.? This can be more difficult than it sounds, particularly during a heated discussion or argument.? People frequently focus more on making their own points heard, instead of listening to the other person; when this happens, it is likely that neither person will receive the attention and understanding that they require.? With listening comes forcing yourself to really hear the things the other person is saying; there is a difference between hearing, and understanding or processing what is being heard.? Sometimes repeating what the other person has said can be a useful technique for ensuring that you hear and understand what the other person said, and confirm to them that you are doing so. However, this is a technique which should be used sparingly, as it can irritate the other person if used too frequently, or if they think that they are being mocked in some way.

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In addition to listening to what others have to say, it?s also important to pay attention to the nonverbal signals that are used.? Very little of communication is in what we actually say; the vast majority of what we communicate is in our tone, body language, and other nonverbal cues.? Paying attention to what your partner has to say also involves evaluating their body language and understanding how it applies to what they?re saying.? Also, be aware of your own body language, and pay attention to not only what it communicates to your partner, but also what it says about how you really feel.? You may realize that your body language gives away clues to what?s really bothering you, or how you tend to approach certain situations.

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Honesty is crucial in relationships; though this is a frequently-referenced truism of relationship dogma, many people find it difficult to practice in reality.? Being completely open and honest is frightening; it makes you vulnerable, and involves risking hurt and disappointment.? Many people view these as reasons to maintain some sort of a barrier between themselves and their significant other, and to avoid completely opening up.? However, if you hold anything back from your partner, you damage your relationship, and risk never realizing its full potential.? When you are talking about important issues, try to leave emotion out of it and talk rationally; also, stay focused on the issue at hand, instead of dredging up old hurts. Doing so only impedes the reconciliation process.? If you do find yourselves in an argument, be ready to cede, and stop trying to ?win?.? In reality, no one wins when both parties are hurt and angry.? Injecting a bit of humor into the situation usually facilitates better communication, because it creates a sense of perspective and lightens up tense situations.

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~Contributed by IHPro

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Source: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/04/14/9-steps-to-better-communication-today/all/1/

Source: http://inspirehappy.com/2013/01/17/communicate/

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