Couples usually divorce because the relationship becomes broken ? perhaps due to betrayal, or simply because the spouses find themselves moving in different directions in life. Regardless of the explanation, divorces can also bring up hostile feelings and resentment. But according to new research from the University of Missouri, divorced parents may actually find their negative relationships improve by focusing on their children?s needs in an approach called ?co-parenting.?
According to Marilyn Coleman, a UM family studies professor who conducted the study, most couples who go through hostile divorce proceedings expect that animosity to follow them long after the issues of money, property division, alimony and child custody are settled.
The study followed 20 women who had joint physical custody of their children with their ex-spouses. Nearly half of the women reported having contentious relationships with their former partners at the time of the divorce. However, many women found that their formerly negative relationships evolved from antagonistic to respectful over time.
The key appeared to be the kids, researchers said. Coleman said it seemed parents actually ?matured? over time, recognizing the damage that the post-divorce arguments could still wreak upon their children.
In divorces where the relationships became amicable, women reported that they had no doubts that the fathers of their children were responsible parents. Nor did they avoid communication by phone, text or email. The women also made no attempt to limit their ex-spouses? contact with the children and focused instead on simple ways to ease the transition from one home to another.
Coleman points out that not every couple can do this sort of co-parenting because it requires a conscious effort by parents to put their anger aside for the welfare of the children. However, being able to do so can improve their children?s development in the long term and make for a healthier family dynamic.
Do You Need a Divorce Lawyer in Raleigh?
Our Raleigh, N.C., family law firm provides compassionate representation to clients in areas including divorce, separation, child custody, alimony, domestic violence and other family law matters. Call 919-829-1006 or e-mail us for a consultation.
Source: http://blog.divorcelawnc.com/2012/08/23/co-parenting-may-be-best-for-kids-parentsin-a-divorce/
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